Meet My Meat

Is there anything about being a vegetarian that garners more comments from meat eaters than mock meat? Well I suppose the whole not eating meat thing. And endless inane questions about protein. Okay so it might not be the most pressing issue on the planet but people definitely have a lot to say about it. 

I don't really care about the philosophical implications or if I'm slowly killing myself with my diet. I just want a slab of meat like stuff. I want it in my mouth. Wait... that sounded wrong. I just want something yummy dammit!

In the search for something yummy I buy mock meats for two reasons. The first reason is that I loved something in my meat eating days and want to try it again. That's why I picked up this salami.

That also sounds a bit wrong doesn't it?

When I was a student I would treat myself to a sandwich with peppered salami and piccalilli. Simple things, okay? I miss that greasy freedom so I constructed the sandwich with vegetarian flair.

I know it's ugly. Just trust me on this. It'a a memory thing.

It was more amazing than I could ever could have expected. Mouth feel, taste, nostalgia all spot on. If supermarkets sold this stuff with the charcuterie I would wet myself. 

Mock meats aren't just about memories and embarrassing confessions though. Sometimes you pick up something completely unappetising in the original version because someone was crazy enough to make it veggie. I ate Primal Strips for the first time. I almost died with the awesomeness. Two wasn't enough and nobody round here sells them. I just don't know what to do. Life seems so meaningless now.

Perhaps I should just stop trying to blog while hungry.